Sunday, October 31, 2010

Job at the FBI


The FBI had an opening for an assassin.
After all the background checks, interviews 
And testing were done, there were 3 finalists; 
Two men and a woman.
For the final test, the FBI agents took one of 
The men to a large metal door and handed Him a gun.
We must know that you will follow your 
Instructions no matter what the circumstances.
Inside the room you will find your wife sitting. 
In a chair .. . .  Kill her!!'
The man said, 'You can't be serious. 
I could Never shoot my wife.'
The agent said, 'Then you're not   the right man
For this job. Take your wife and go home.'
The second man was given the same instructions.
He took the gun and went into the room. All was
Quiet for about 5 minutes.
The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried,
But I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't
Have what it takes. Take your wife and go home.'
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the
Same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the
Gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one
After another.  They heard screaming, crashing,
Banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was
Quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the
Woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 
'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said.  'I had to
Beat him to death with the chair.'

MORAL:

Women are crazy........................ Don't mess with them


Friday, October 29, 2010

THE SECRETS OF OLD AGE....

TO THOSE OF US WHO ARE ALREADY THERE
AND TO THOSE WHO WILL SOON BE THERE
The Secrets of Old Age
Before middle age Do not fear!
After middle age Do not regret!
Enjoy Your Life While You Can
Do not wait til you cannot even walk just to be sorry and to regret.
As long as it is physically possible, visit places you wish to visit.
When there is an opportunity, get together with old classmates
old colleagues & old friends. 
The gathering is not just about eating; its just that there is not much time left.

Money kept in the banks may not be really yours.
When it is time to spend, just spend, & treat 
yourself well as youre getting old.
Whatever you feel like eating, just eat!  
It is most important to be happy. Food which are good for health
eat often and more but that is not everything.

Things which are not good for health  
eat less but once in a while do not abstain from them totally.
Treat sickness with optimism.  Whether you are poor or rich,    
Everyone has to go through the birth, aging, sickness and death. 

There is no exception, thats life. 
Do not be afraid or worried when you are sick.

Settle all the outstanding issues b4 hand you will be able to leave without regret.
Let the doctors handle your body,
Let GOD handles your life.
If worries can cure your sickness, then go ahead and worry.
If worries can prolong your life, then go ahead and worry.
If worries can exchange for happiness, then go ahead and worry.
Our kids will make their own fortune.
Look After Four Old Treasures  

1. Your old body – pay more attention to health,you can only rely on yourself on this.

2.     Retirement funds money that you have earned,it is best to keep them yourself.

3.     Your old companion treasure every moment with your other half,one of you will leave first.
PERFECT LOVE
4. Your old friends seize every opportunities to meet up with your friends. 
Such opportunities will become rare as time goes by.


Running water does not flow back.
So is life, make it happy! 
ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE

USED vs LOVED

While a man was polishing his new car,
his 4 yr old son picked up a stone
and scratched lines on the side of the car.
In anger,the man took the child's hand and hit it
many times not realizing he was using a wrench
At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers
due to multiple fractures.
When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked,
'Dad when will my fingers grow back?'
The man was so hurt and speechless;
he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times.
Devastated by his own actions......
sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches;
the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.
The next day that man committed suicide. . .
 
Anger and Love have no limits;
choose the latter to have a beautiful, lovely life & remember this:
Things are to be used and people are to be loved.
The problem in today's world is that people
are used while things are loved.
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character;
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

FRIEND

Friends..... ..
They love you,
but they are not your lover
They care for you,
but they are not from your family
They are ready to share your pain,
but they are not in your blood relation .
They are.......FRIENDS! !!!!
True friend ......
Scolds like a DAD..
Cares like a MOM..
Teases like a SISTER..
Irritates like a BROTHER..
And finally loves U more than a LOVER.

The person who is always smiling does not mean that he has no problem.....
But the smile show that he has ability to over come all those problems.....
Keep smiling and keep in touch...... !!!!!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Years pass quickly

Good friends are like stars..........
You don't always see them, but you know they are always there'
'Remember yesterday, dream about tomorrow, but live today'

How quickly the years pass... 

   Next 20 years


Next 20 years




Now smile and send to any girl/guy wasting time at work, suffering from a hangover, or just suffering from work, that might need a reason to smile!

Life is short!  Break the rules!  
Forgive quickly! Love truly,

Laugh uncontrollably..
And never regret anything that made you smile.

Inspiring Thoughts

Anger is a condition in which
the tongue works faster than the mind.
---------------

You can't change the past,
but you can ruin the present 
by worrying over the future. 
------------------
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage,
half shut afterwards.
------------------
A hug is a great gift... one size fits all.
It can be given for any occasion
and it's easy to exchange.

-----------------
The real measure of a man's wealth
is what he has invested in eternity. 

------------------
Everyone has beauty
but not everyone sees it.
--------------------
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen
or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
----------------
Harsh words break no bones
but they do break hearts.
-----------------------------
Love is the only thing that can be
divided without being diminished. 

-----------------------
For every minute you are angry with someone,
you lose 60 seconds of happiness
that you can never get back.
----------------
Do what you can, for who you can,
with what you have, and where you are 

  


Men & Women

Hi there, 
 I love the first and last items of the following 'observation' on men and women.  
 ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 
 Smart man + smart woman = romance 
 Smart man + dumb woman = affair 
 Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 
 Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
 ____________ _________ _________  
 OFFICE ARITHMETIC 
 Smart boss + smart employee = profit 
 Smart boss + dumb employee = production 
 Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion 
 Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
 ____________ _________ ________ 
 SHOPPING MATH
 A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. 
 A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need. 
 ____________ _________ ________  
 GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS 
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.  
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
 ____________ _________ ________ 
HAPPINESS  To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. 
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
 ____________ _________ _________ 
 LONGEVITY  
 Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
 ____________ _________ _________ 
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE 
 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.  
 A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 
____________ _________ ________ 
 DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE 
A woman has the last word in any argument. 
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.  
 ____________ _________ ________  
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED  
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. "You're next." 
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH 
AND TO A SMART GUY YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT  

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Can I Borrow RM 25?

 A woman came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find her 5-year old son waiting for her at the door. 
 SON: 'Mummy, may I ask you a question?' 
 MUM: 'Yeah sure, what it is?' replied the woman. 
 SON: 'Mummy, how much do you make an hour?' 
 MUM: 'That's none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?' the woman said angrily. 
 SON: 'I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?' 
 MUM: 'If you must know, I make RM 50 an hour.' 
 SON: 'Oh,' the little boy replied, with his head down. 
 SON: 'Mummy, may I please borrow RM 25?' 


The mother was furious, 'If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don't work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.' The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The woman sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy's questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money? After about an hour or so, the woman had calmed down, and started to think: Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that RM 25 and he really didn't ask for money very often . The woman went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door. '
Are you asleep, son?' She asked.  
'No Mummy, I'm awake,' replied the boy. 
I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier' said the woman. 'It's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here's the RM 25 you asked for.' The little boy sat straight up, smiling. 'Oh, thank you Mummy!' he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills. The woman saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his mother. 
'Why do you want more money if you already have some?' the mother grumbled. 'Because I didn't have enough, but now I do,' the little boy replied. 'Mummy, I have RM 50 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.'  
The mother was crushed. She put his arms around her little son, and she begged for his forgiveness.  
It's just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that RM 50 worth of your time with someone you love. If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. 
But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.